adventure dog

Scooby is the adventurest of the adventure dykes thus far on the trip. He's waded through snow up to his hips, forded a freezing cold river, conquered an iceberg, eaten any and all snack foods presented to him without hesitation (ok that might be an exaggeration), and now he has survived a harrowing near-death encounter with a seriously pissed off dog twice his size who ambushed him, took advantage of his bum leg, and pinned him up against a retaining wall, and the ensuing visit to the vet where he endured 15 excruciating minutes during which the doctor rinsed the inch and a half long gash in his ear with various solutions then pried it apart to show us the torn cartilage. He was then sedated with an injectable, stitched up, and revived with another injectable. Downers, uppers, antibiotics, anti-inflammatories, and now, everywhere he lays his head there is someone rushing over with a towel to shove under it so it doesn't drain all over everything. What is a little bit of puss, people, when your freaking dignity is on the line?! Do I want a snack? No, I don't want a snack, I want the rest of my ear back and my three-hundred-and-sixty-four dollars too! And quit taking pictures of me. Set the cell phone down on the bed and back away, slowly.